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5 Ways to Achieve Mindfulness

DSC01281Mindfulness, what is it and why is it needed? Mindfulness pops up in media right now as though this mindfulness thing has validity. Mindfulness, simply stated, focuses on the present. Being present in the here and now allows one to be fully aware and on purpose. Daydreaming, jumping from one thing to another, looking ahead to the next thing all exemplify what mindfulness is not. A society of hurry up and wait, such as ours, keeps us vigilant about the next move.

Mindfulness allows the rational mind to think through things clearly and logically. Making good decisions happens when mindfulness occurs. Mindfulness keeps the emotional mind subdued because mindfulness allows you to look at things objectively without judging. Mindfulness helps you keep on task and do one thing at a time which keeps you from getting overwhelmed.

Living your life on purpose with increased awareness results from practicing mindfulness. Achieving mindfulness isn’t difficult but it does take practice. Anything new out of the normal, familiar way of doing things will feel difficult and uncomfortable at first. However, the outcome of mindfulness will give you a sense of managing your life like never before.

Five keys to achieve mindfulness start with the decision to live life on purpose. Mindfulness brings your entire self to the present moment. Remember the last time you enjoyed yourself? Think about how focused you were on what was happening. What would it be like to enjoy yourself like that all the time? Achieving mindfulness begins with noticing what you are feeling and what you are thinking as though someone else is doing the thinking and feeling.

  1. Breathe – notice what is going on in your body. Is there a place in your body that you can feel the emotion you are having? It may be your shoulders, neck, chest, head, or hands. Identify that place and determine how the emotion and where it’s at in your body are connected. Breathe into that place. In other words, once you have identified the emotion and the place in your body that you feel it, breathe into that place by taking a breath all the way down to the abdominal area.
  2. Notice what you are thinking about. Notice what you want to do when thinking about it. If you are angry, you may want to scream or punch something. Your anger may not be that intense. You may just want to give someone a piece of your mind. You may be sad which could evoke an emotional response of crying. The main thing to do is notice your thoughts.
  3. The next step is to describe what you notice. For example, “My friend is being so unfair when she tells me what I ought to do. I will just find another friend. She makes me so mad.” Then take out the judgment and just state it objectively. “I feel anger.” Just stating what you feel takes the judgment out.
  4. Give your full attention to what you are doing. When you breathe, notice how you are breathing. Are you breathing deeply and practicing a relaxation breath? When you are noticing and describing what you are experiencing, give your full attention to it. Be present and aware of each step you take.
  5. Only do one thing at a time. In this day of glorifying multi-tasking, doing one thing at a time seems contrary to being able to manage multiple tasks or projects. However, focusing on one thing at a time will be far more efficient and satisfying.

Practicing mindfulness brings a sense of controlling or managing your life. You are being intentional and purposeful about what you are doing. You will find success and satisfaction as you master the practice of mindfulness.

Breakthrough Counseling can help you get started and follow through with mindfulness to change those mundane, stressful patterns well established in your life. Call us today at 918-286-3278.

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Crisis or Drama


Daily lives can bring ups and downs. When there are ups and downs there may be crisis moments. These moments may be drama instead of crisis. How do you know which is which and what do you do about either of them?

First, the test to determine which is which: 


  1. It’s drama when there is no threatening condition such as a life being endangered.
  2. Drama, by its nature is emotional. Emotions do not constitute crisis although the person with the emotions may try to convince themselves and others differently. “I’ll die if …. doesn’t happen.” “I cannot live without……”
  3. Drama requires an audience.
  4. Drama purposely involves as many people as possible much of the time in the form of gossip or retelling the situation over and over to whoever will listen.
  5. Drama is about the person at the center of the drama.
  6. Drama resists solutions.

Drama does not respond well to therapy simply because drama is a choice, not a crisis. Drama involves emotions over reasoning and will not resolve with therapy unless someone decides the drama is out of control and has started to create undesirable outcomes on a regular basis. At that point, counseling can and will help.


  1. Crisis can be a life or death circumstance at hand.
  2. Crisis can involve a relationship where one perceives a real threat.
  3. Crisis only requires one person.
  4. Crisis can resolve with solutions and those in crisis want solutions.
  5. Crisis may be about helping another person.
  6. Crisis will resolve one way or the other and isn’t ongoing.

If you have a crisis, seek immediate help. Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room if the crisis is life threatening. The sooner the resolution, the better off the person in crisis will be. This sounds simplistic but many try to resolve a crisis without the appropriate tools. Inappropriate resolutions can lead to a bigger crisis. Crises should not persist because it causes a physical toll on the body and brain. Crises need to be resolved and resolved with the amount of closure that is possible which means it becomes manageable.

If crisis or drama seems to be a big part of your life, it’s time to improve the quality of your life. Counseling or coaching tends to help resolve the majority of issues. Some believe counseling would mean one is “crazy” or mentally ill and shy away from seeking counseling help. Coaching or consultation can make all the difference in how life quality improves. Coaching and consulting are not reimbursable by insurance. Either way, Breakthrough Counseling (and Coaching) is here to help. We will be happy to accommodate your preference for the assistance you seek. Today is the day to begin a quality of life to sustain you as you move forward toward a better future. Ask us about our payment plan options. 918-286-3278.